Shirley
My elaborate and nonsensical rescue script
I do not know about you all, but all day long and even sometimes in my dreams I have scripts playing in my head about my life. Scripts about how my day is going to go, scripts about how I want to feel or should feel instead of how I actually feel, to scripts about how others see me and how I want them to see me or feel about me. The most shocking at least to me was realising that I even have a very detailed and elaborate scripts about how I want God to answer my prayers. This last type of scripting has of late been proving to be the most detrimental in my life especially as I find myself in a season of waiting or a “valley or desert season”, whichever you prefer to call it.
Interestingly enough, in this waiting season of mine I recently noticed that I was feeling some type of way towards God, I found myself catching some feelings. Upon investigation I found out that I was disappointed and that the source of my disappointment was because my prayers had not been answered according to my very elaborate script (mind you these scripts we often have are often fleshly motivated), and hence I was starting to feel like He had disappointed me. Disappointment because my prayers had not been answered at the time and in the manner, I expected it to be answered in. Basically, I was trying to pull the strings in my life; I was trying to play “god” in my own life and then I was getting disappointed when life was not going the way I was expecting or wanting it go. Yet life not going the way you expect is a common denominator of life as we know it. So, it was like I was intentionally setting myself up to fail with my attempts to play “god”!
Upon further reflection and listening to the Holy spirit, I have come to realise that when we come up with scripts on how we expect God to rescue us we are basically setting ourselves up for, firstly, disappointment because no one can predict the actions of God, His actions or inactions are not predictable and He cannot be put in a box. He is infinite, but he is also faithful and good, and in moments of life where we find ourselves in uncertainty, we must trust him because that is what faith demands. Secondly, if we are so caught up with our script writing on how God should answer our prayers, we might miss the answer to our prayers especially when it comes looking very different from what we anticipated or expected. Thirdly, we may wrongly loose our faith in our Father and become disappointment not because He has failed us, but because the answer did not come at the time we expected or how we expected it. Hence, this is self-defeatist and self -deception at its finest.
There are two stories in the bible which highlight how having our own scripts of how and when God should answer our prayers not only leads to disappointment and unnecessary heartache, and even worse even leads to missing the answer to our prayers because it does not look like the answer we expected.
To begin with, let us look at the story of Abraham which speaks to this script writing business that we often get ourselves into. In Genesis Chapter 15 we get to see God’s promise to Abraham that he would bless him with a son who was of his own flesh and blood to be his heir (Gen 15: 4). Further promising him that his offspring would be as many and countless as the stars in the sky (Gen 15:5). However, when God’s promise did not happen according to Abraham and Sarah’s script, disappointed they decided to take matters into their own hands and to help God fulfil his promise. So, Sarai gave Abraham her slave Hagar to have a child with (Genesis 16:1). In the end a child was born, Ishmael. The result of this decision that was made outside God’s will, was conflict in the home and unnecessary pain and suffering which could have been avoided if they had simply had faith and waited for God to move at His own time. Abraham and Sarai let fear drive their decision, fear that God was late because nature was closing in on them as they were getting too old. However, God was not moved to act at their time and in the manner that they expected Him to act. God kept His promise but at His own time and according to his wisdom. Sarai and Abraham eventually had a child at an age when they both were considered too old and incapable of having a child naturally (Genesis 21: 1-7).
The other is the story of Naaman the great commander of the army of the king of Aram (2 kings 5:1-19). His story is very interesting as he almost missed his healing miracle because his healing miracle did not happen the way he expected it to happen in his mind. According to the bible the great commander and valiant soldier was afflicted with leprosy. However, a slave girl from Israel who served Naaman’s wife advised Naaman to see Elisha, a prophet of Israel, if he wanted to be healed. He listened to the slave girl and made his way to Elisha’s house with his horses and chariots to meet the great prophet for healing. However, Elisha did not even bother to come out and meet the great commander and instead he sent his massager and gave him instructions on how to get healed. The messenger informed Naman to go wash himself seven times in the Jordan and that after he would be healed. However, the great commander was so offended that Elisha had not even bothered to come and meet him yet he was a ‘somebody’. Further, he was also offended by the fact that he was asked to wash himself in a river in Israel yet according to his opinion he could have been instructed to instead wash himself in other rivers like the Abana and Pharpar, which are rivers found in Damascus, and were a better choice according to him. So, he refused to follow the instructions that would lead to his healing because it looked different from what he imagined, and as a result was going to miss his opportunity to be healed. However, it was only after the servant girl convinced him to follow prophet Elijah’s instructions that he finally agreed to obey and was instantly healed.
Take home lesson: we really need to stop looking for answers that we have determined with our own flesh and instead be open to listen and to truly wait on God. So that when the answer does come even if it does not look like what we imagined or if may be the answer tarries longer than we expect that we will still choose to wait and trust God.