Shirley
My Ground Zero
Back in 1999 when the 9/11 terrorist attack on the world trade centre happened, I remember the news referring to this place as ground zero. The name ground zero struck me so much, and I remember I could not shake what it represented. The World Trade Centre which once stood proudly and so sure of itself as a place of glory and pride was within seconds reduced to a shelf of its former glory bringing absolute destruction in its wake. The pictures coming out of the site were those of utter desolation and hopelessness, and gut-wrenching loss, a far cry from what it had once stood for. And the memory of this once glorious site in its worst moment has remained entrapped in my memory volt as a testament of how low anything and everything can fall no matter how glorious it once was.
Interestingly enough, when I look at my life and reflect on it and even on the lives of others, I now see that we will all face a ground zero at one or more points in our lives. It is a story as old as time that none of us can run away from, and if you have not yet experienced a ground zero just live long enough and I can assure you for free that you will one day come face to face with such a moment, none of us is exempt. It is a place where you will question life, everyone, everything you have ever been taught, and might I say even God in your anguish. A place where you stripped and your defences are laid bare, where you cannot hide behind Christian legalise. Yes, it is a moment so gruesome and filled with such loss that you will doubt yourself, what you stand for and everything you have ever been taught. A moment you cannot pray your way out of. And mind you not every ground zero is Job-isq (Job’s story in the bible) in proportion, but it’s still loss nonetheless. Ground zero can be everything from the loss of a job, an affair in a marriage, loss of society status, death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, disappointment, when a truth you have lived your life based on turns out to be a lie, rejection, sickness, life not going how you expected, debt, and the list goes on and on. Further, sometimes you may find yourself in a ground zero and it may be a result of your own choices, and other times it’s just the normal dance of life happening and there is no way to stop it. The place where everything that defined you is stripped away, or it could be that desolate place where you never thought you would ever be. It’s that place where you may feel like you are right back at the beginning.
The bible is filled with many examples of characters who found themselves face to face with various ground zeros. I mean look at the story of Joseph who found himself in one ground zero after another (Genesis 37-50); or Job (chapter 1-42) or Naomi (Ruth Chapter 1- 4); or the lady with the issue of blood who used all her money in search of a miracle for 12 years of her life (Luke 8:43-48 and Mark 5:25-34); and even the disciples just after Jesus had been crucified and they found themselves lost (John 21).
However, from all the above stories the stories that stand out for me are the stories of Joseph, Naomi and the woman with the issue of blood. I absolutely love the story of the lady with issue of blood in the bible (Luke 8:43-48 and Mark 5:25-34). I often wonder how many times in the twelve years before she was healed had she found herself at ground zero. It was probably with every time promise of healing that turned out to be a lie. The bible says that for the 12 years she was unwell she had spent everything she had in search of a cure and nothing panned out, yet she still got up and continued to believe. I often ask myself how many times did it feel like it was over, like it was not worth it and that it was better to give up. I love that despite the many times she was disappointed with false promises of a cure, she still got up and kept pushing forward and dared to hope that one day she would be healed, and if she had to, she was willing to at least die trying rather than to live a hopeless complaisant life. That is why even here in her ground zero riddled with one disappointment after another she still dared to hope, and in that found the carriage to believe that if she just touched Jesus’s cloth she would be healed, and indeed she was finally healed.
Another is the story of Joseph. This dude kept facing one ground zero after another, and in return he would not retreat and surrender. He refused to let the experiences define him. It did not matter that the ground zeros he faced were not because of any of his wrong doing, but the wrong decisions of others. He was sold into slavery by his brothers because they were jealous of how much their father loved him. He then found himself sold to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian. Thus, he found himself moved from a life of privilege where he was treated like a little prince as he was his father’s favourite, to that of a lowly slave. Despite that, he begun to pick himself out of this particular ground zero as everything he began to touch become prosperous because the Lord was with him, and as a result he found favour with Potiphar. So much so that he was appointed overseer of Potiphar’s house. Nevertheless, because Joseph was a handsome young man, Potiphar’s wife tried to sleep with him, but because he was righteous man and declined, he found himself convicted of a crime he did not commit and thrown in jail as a result. Just imagine going to jail for doing the right thing and how that must have shaken his foundation and beliefs. So yet again Joseph found himself in another ground zero. However, even here in this ground zero God showed him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison. As a result, he was put in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. We always imagine that God’s favour only shines upon us when everything is good in our life, but Joseph’s story shows us that even when we find ourselves in ground zero it does not mean that God has left us or that we cannot find favour even in such a season.
Then right on time an opportunity presented itself when Joseph made the acquaintance of the former cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt who were both in prison because they had offended their master, the king of Egypt. They both had dreams that rattled them and they needed an interpreter. Knowing that God can do anything even interpret dreams Joseph volunteered his services. Joseph interpretated the dreams for both men, and afterwards he asked them to remember him. True to Joseph’s dream interpretation the baker was hanged, while the cup bearer was forgiven and restored to his position in the King’s service, but he forgot Joseph. Nonetheless, two years later, the King of Egypt had a dream and needed someone to interpret it for him, and the cup bearer finally remembered Joseph. After interpreting Pharaoh’s dream, Joseph finally got out of ground zero as he was put in charge of the land of Egypt, and only second to Pharaoh. (Genesis chapter 37-41). Finally, he was able to say good bye to his ground zero.
I also have to mention the story of Naomi. Her story is one of the best examples of a character in the bible who found themselves in a ground zero, and she sets the stage of how one should proceed when they find themselves in such a season. The book of Ruth begins with Naomi leaving Bethlem in Judah with her husband, Elimelek, and her two sons, Mahlon and Kilion. Ruth and her family headed to the country of Moab in search of greener pastures as their homeland had suffered a draught. So, they settled in Moab and eventually her sons married Moabite women, one named Oprah and the other Ruth.Tragedy however strikes and she loses her husband, but she still had her two sons. Tragedy strikes again and she loses not one but both her sons. In the end she is left empty, she is left with no husband, no sons, and no grandchildren. She is left standing empty handed with daughters’ in-law she has no sons to give. In this moment the bible does not ignore or hide her feelings, in fact, it acknowledges the loss and bitterness that she feels. Interestingly enough, Naomi did something that most people mourning in their ground zero never do, she made a drastic decision, to move on, to do something new, to change something. In this case she chose to go back to Bethlem in Judah. She decided to move back to the place where many years ago she had left with her hands full and filled with a boatload of hope, however, now she returning empty and bitter. However, this one decision to move, to act, to do something uncomfortable as she was dealing with her loss was the single best decision she could have ever made. In fact, it becomes the catalyst to a new and wonderful future she could never have even dared to imagine or dream of in her ground zero.
Notably, before leaving she decides to release Orpah and Ruth after blessing them, and although Orpah agrees to leave, Ruth choses to stay by her side. Of course, she tried to discourage Ruth claiming that she had absolutely nothing to give or offer her, but Ruth was determined not to leave her mother-in-law.
Upon arriving back in Bethlem Naomi does something that brings to mind a clear image of the state of her heart and I am glad that the good book gives us this very intimate glimpse into Ruth’s brokenness in her ground zero. Naomi tells the people:
20 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. 21 I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1: 20-21)
Naomi was so real and raw about her state of emotion. I feel that sometimes church today perpetuates this twisted idea of super human Christians who have not emotions and are not allowed to acknowledge being upset or disappointed or feel any form of negative emotions. A state which is very unfair and destructive to any person who may be going through a difficult and painful season. I love that the bible shows that it is okay to acknowledge pain, hurt and loss. That you can trust God and still acknowledge the pain and suffering you have endured or are enduring. God can take all the facets of who we are, we do not have to pretend to be super human to be good Christians.
Worth noting, though is that Naomi and Ruth arrived in Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning, and I do not believe that the timing of their arrival was very key. It was the season of harvest in Bethlehem, and the return of Naomi and Ruth also later turns out to be the beginning of a new season of harvest for both Ruth and Naomi. Walking into Bethlehem empty, little did they know that the harvest in Bethlehem was actually a manifestation of their own harvest. This move back home literally set in motion the restoration of everything that Naomi and Ruth had lost and more (read (Ruth: Chapter 2-4). Naomi not only gained a son in-law when her daughter in-law Ruth married Boaz, a wealthy landowner of Bethlehem in Judea, and a relative of Elimelech (Naomi’s late husband), but she gained a grandson. This season of blessing on Noami’s life was not lost to the people of Bethlehem so much so that they said:
13 So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. When he made love to her, the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. 14 The women said to Naomi: “Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! 15 He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.”16 Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. 17 The women living there said, “Naomi has a son!” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. David who notably was in the bloodline of Jesus. (Ruth 4: 13-16)
Looking at the three stories above, I am able to draw some helpful conclusions about how to proceed if you ever find yourself standing on your own personal ground zero.
Firstly, keep moving like Naomi did. Do something, make a change. Just keep on moving, something must change, you must act in a way that you have never acted before. Only change can get you out of ground zero. Nothing but change. Further, it is worth noting that to make change requires that you look at you hand and truly see what you still have even despite the loss you have experienced. Hence, the question is: what changes are you willing to make in order to leave ground zero? For Naomi it was as simple as leaving her ground zero and going back home to the place she had once led a life full of promise. There are so many things I love about Naomi’s story, but what I love most about her was that even when she found herself in a place of utter desolation and loss she did not wallow in pity and let the pain hold her captive. Instead, although she carried her pain with her, she decided to move, to do something, anything. A change no matter how small can spark something. Making small changes even when it does not make sense, even when it seems hopeless, even when we do not feel like it, can be the beginning of something new. Thus, I urge you do something, change something and start your journey out of your ground zero.
Secondly, we learn that ground zero comes with two very different fruits, the fruit of growth and the opportunity to dream again, or you can choose the fruit of bitterness and discouragement and remain stuck. The fruit that you will harvest will depend on whether you choose to trust God or not. If you choose to trust God then the fruit is growth and not bitterness. So, yes although ground zero is utterly devastating; a moment filled with so much loss, destruction, and pain, it can also the breeding ground for growth if you allow it. It is ground for insurmountable treasure. It can be fertile ground for endurance, empathy, kindness, thankfulness, tolerance, love, grace, and forgiveness e. t. c. It is only in failure or loss, and when we feel the most down that we can rise. Here we can only go up if we are open to it. Here where total dependence on God is necessary something new can grow, something new can flourish, purpose can be born. The new can begin. I mean the worst day in history for the disciples when Jesus is crucified, is ironically the day that we can all call the best day for those who choose to believe.
Thirdly, here in ground zero we get to know who God is in our life. Don’t get me wrong ground zero is a horrible, gut wrenching and painful place, the kind of place that you would not wish on your worst enemy, however, it is also the place where we find God. It is here where the pruning happens, where misguided believes are dislodged, fake friendships come to an end, and where every belief you have built your life upon is tested. As a result, it is here where we grow in character, determination and in our dependency on God. In this moment you can only survive as you clutch on nothing else but God. There is no room for pretending, there are no distractions, it’s just you and God. It is the place of rebirth, where you can seek your God with all your heart, and bask in all His goodness and glory. He is all you have and nothing else.
Hence, if today you find yourself standing helplessly on ground zero, take heart, it is not over. Here you have the opportunity to begin again, to build again. Here great decisions and resolutions are made. In fact, ground zero is actually one of the best seasons you will ever find yourself in as you have nowhere else to go but up. So yes, ground zero is a humbling, painful, devastating and sometimes humiliating, but it is also the best place you can find yourself in.