Shirley
When the answer to a prayer is NO
Prayer is a wonderful thing; it is the way that we communicate with God. It is the way we hear from God, the way our soul and strength is renewed. The way we do battle, and importantly the way we make our requests known to our Father in heaven. Anyone who prays can testify that the answers come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is a YES or DO SOMETHING FIRST and then a YES. Other times it is WAIT and even NO.
I am sure that no one exists on this earth who loves to be told NO. I for example love to hear the word YES in my normal everyday life, and thus, prayers that are answered with a YES are like the cherry on the cake. I do not even mind if I am asked to DO SOMETHING FIRST before I get the YES as long as the destination is still YES. YES, makes sense to me. However, WAIT and NO are usually harder for me. With waiting, you never ever know how long the waiting could be, it could be a year,10 or even 20 or more. NO on the other hand is confusing because we often do not understand why and its easy to catch feeling and to be low key upset. Further, it is also confusing because you never know if you should continue praying until the answer is YES or if you should let the dream die.This is because most of us have been taught this misconstrued gospel that for some reason God is our personal genie who will always give us everything we desire if we pray or even sow the perfect seed, and so when. He does the opposite and asks us to WAIT or even NO, we are often left feeling confused. Sometimes we even begin to believe that maybe we did something wrong, or we did not pray enough or that we are forgotten and not loved. Yet the reality of life is that when you look at the bible you will find four kinds of answers from God, YES, WAIT, DO SOMETHING FIRST and NO.
Firstly, let’s look at the story of Abraham who got a YES and an affirmation that he would not only be blessed with a child , but that he would be the father of many nations, but he and his wife had to wait a whopping 25 years to see the YES become a reality. God gave him the promise in Genesis 12(1-3) and it was only in Genesis 21(5), 25 years later when he was 100 that his wife Sarah gave birth to a son. I always like to imagine just how ridiculous or even crazy Abraham must have looked to his friends and family when he would tell them about the YES, he got from God because on the physical(scientifically) it looked absolutely impossible that they would ever have a child as they were both past their child bearing years. Also, it is not difficult to imagine how hard it must have been for Abraham and Sarah to wait, to know that they had been given the promise by God, a YES, but not to know when that promise would be fulfilled. To hope when everything on the outside contradicts a YES from God is not an easy thing, but it is something that all of us will go through in different areas of our lives.
Then we have the story of Naaman (2 Kings 5) whose answer was a YES, but he had to DO SOMETHING FIRST. His healing depended on him obeying the instructions given to him by Elisha. Instructions which at face value seemed demeaning to a man of his stature. He was a valiant soldier and the commander of the great army of the king of Aram and was highly regarded because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram, but he had leprosy. Yet when he travelled to see Elisha for healing, Elisha did not role up a read carpet for him, indeed, he did not even bother to come see him personally, instead he sent a messenger to give him instructions on what to do in order to get healed. He was told to wash himself seven times in the Jordan, in order for his flesh to be restored (2 Kings 5:10). As a result, Naaman felt that Elisha had disrespected him. In fact, his exact words were: “I thought that he (Elisha) would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Couldn’t I wash in them and be cleansed?” So, he turned and went off in a rage. (2 Kings 5:11-12). Eventually, Naaman humbled himself and did as he was told and only after following Elisha’s instruction to a tee was, he finally healed. Nevertheless, imagine if he had refused to listen and remained waiting for God to answer his prayer the way he had imagined it would happen in his head. He probably would have never gotten healed. We also have the story of Hannah who was married Elkanah, and could not have children as God had closed her womb (1 Samuel: 5). For many years she was miserable as she endured the taunting and provocation of her co-wife, Peninnah, who was blessed with many children. Nonetheless, God only opened her womb when she became fed up and rose up with a resolution and vowed that if the LORD blessed her with the gift of a child, that she would give it back to Him, and He opened her womb (1 Samuel. 1:9-11).
Additionally, we have the story of the lady with the bleeding ailment who for 12 years it seemed like the answer to her healing was NO. For 12 years she prayed and spent everything she owned and earned in search of a cure (Matthew 9:20–22, Mark 5:25–34, Luke 8:43–48). Her story to me is one of the most powerful stories of perseverance in prayer and faith. Every time I read her story, I am often baffled and dumbfounded at how this lady continued to believe year after year after physicians took her money and only proceeded to disappoint her. I often wonder how she was able to muster enough crazy faith to believe that if she just touched Jesus clothe, she would be healed yet she had endured 12 years of what seemed like a continuous NO to her healing. How was she able to nurture her faith for all those years and continue to be so bold in the midst of so much disappointment? My mind is blown away! Her story speaks to me on so many levels, and encourages me to keep praying and believing. Often at least for me after a year of praying, I usually conclude that maybe it was not God’s will for me. Interestingly enough, about three years ago, me and a friend of mine were going through two very different seasons and we both came together, agreed and prayed that our situations would change. A year later her prayer was answered, it has been two years going into three and I am still in the same situation I was in when we prayed. Of course, I was happy for her, but I was also hurt that my answer was not a YES like hers. I could not understand why God would give her a YES and not me. However, being the “good non-confrontational girl”, I went on as if nothing was wrong, but low key I was mad at God. Truly, I did not take my disappointment to God like I should have done, instead I found it easier to believe that maybe I did something wrong. That maybe I did not have enough faith or something was lacking in me, or maybe God saw that I was not ready or worthy. I start to convince myself that I should just accept that my prayer will not be answered or that maybe what I had asked for was not realistic or even meant to be. Furthermore, in order to protect my broken heart when a prayer is not answered with a YES or the way I wanted, I usually change the script in my head and start to deny the desire that inspired the prayer and to rewrite my prayer request, and to convince myself that I never really wanted what I had prayed for. I basically start a new script in my head where I start to deny my prayer. As a result, I deny myself, and start to live a lie which leads to a passive aggressive existence that flows in every area of my life even my relationship with God. This often builds to low key resentment and living an inauthentic life. All this in a bid to protect myself from the heartbreak of a NO or possible WAIT. However, I am now learning that it is okay to go to God and to admit disappointment when the answer is not what you prayed for, He can handle it. Further, to continue to trust Him and prayer for wisdom to understand the answer while you continue to praise Him.
Looking at the bible one of the best examples of a NO answer, is found in 2 Corinthians12:6-10 where we see one of Paul’s most revelling and vulnerable prayers. The prayer where he pleads with God three times to take something away from him that caused him torment and pain, but his answer was not WAIT OR DO SOMETHING FIRST and then a YES, it was a NO. In fact, it goes something like this: “Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” I like the fact that even though the answer was NO, Paul was persistent to continue in prayer until God helped him understand the reason why the answer was NO. As a result, he was given sight to see the fruit he was producing as a result of NO. I believe this is a powerful way of seeing a reply to prayer that is the opposite of what we may have hoped for in a particular season. Certainly, what we learn from Paul is that even after the answer is not what we might have hoped for, we must still be persistent in prayer and seek wisdom from the Holy Spirit in order to understand God’s will in the season we find ourselves in.
Apart from praying to get perspective and understanding for God’s answer in the season we find ourselves in, it is important to continue to pray so that God may give us the strength to endure as we wait and sometimes to go through what we tried to pray ourselves out of. The best example of this is found in Matthew 26:36-44, which says: 36Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch[a] with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. In this one moment Jesus was in so much anguish and pain that his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground, so much so that he prayed three times asking the Lord for another way apart from the cross if it was possible, and although God did not change what he needed to go through in order to save humanity, He sent an angel from heaven to strengthened Jesus( Luke 22:39-44).
Therefore, we must persistently seek God through prayer like the widow in Luke 18(1-6) or the beggar in Luke 18:35-42. We must continue to be persistent in prayer even if it looks like things are not changing. To persistently seek God’s word and purpose on the issue we are praying for. To be persistent until we not only get the answer to the prayer, but if the answer is a NO or a WAIT to get an understanding why, this is what Paul did. Furthermore, if the answer is NO and we cannot pray ourselves out of what we must go through, then like Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane we must be persistent and pray for strength to endure. Lastly, we must trust God’s will for or life, and hold on to the fact that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).
So as you wait for the answer to you prayer whether it has been a day, a month, a year, or even twenty years or more, be encouraged. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15: 13). If your faith is dwindling, remember that all you need is faith that is the size of a mustard seed (Mathew 17:20). Also, always remember that faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ (Romans 10:17). Thus, read the word and receive the faith that it gives and restores as you wait and endure. Lastly, remember that no matter what season you find yourself in, in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Roman 8: 28). We must believe that the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right (Psalms 84:11)