Shirley
THE GOD OF MY SORROWS
The dictionary defines sorrow as: a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.
I would love to live a bullet free life, which in my mind embodies a life with no pain, no loss, no distress, no uncertainty, no disappointment. In fact, I think that most of our lives (at least mine) are motivated (I am in recovery) by this grand idea that we can somehow out run or outsmart trouble. So, we spend our days toiling with the aim to finally attain this “white picket fence” existence where we believe there is no pain or sorrow. A life where we have perfect people who love us and make us perfectly whole (spouse, children, family, and friends). Where we have influence in abundance and enough money for everything, and importantly never lack or have to wait for anything. A man-made existence of ‘certainty’, basically a life of no sorrows; it’s all about shalala shalala because it’s all butterflies and rainbows. For some of us who are believers we even take it up a notch, and it is not just about “I” attempting to create this “ideal life”, but it is about apparently “recruiting” God into our human plans for our lives and hoping that if we are good, pray hard and try to live our lives right that we will be protected from all things that cause life’s many sorrows. Yes, a utopic existence, a paradise that unfortunately can never exist here on earth because we live in a fallen world where we will all experience sorrow at one point or another, the bible is very clear about this (John 16:33, James 1:2: 2 Timothy 3:12 2, Corinthians 4:17, Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 etc, Psalm 9:9-10 , James 1:2-4, James 1:12, Isaiah 48:10, 1 Peter 1:6-7, 1 Peter 5:10, the book of Job)
True to form as we walk on this earth, we can all attest to the fact that there are times when we pray and a miracle happens and we are saved from trouble. Nonetheless, there are also times where we cannot out run or out pray trouble, and so it finds us on our doorstep. Every one of us will experience trouble and the resulting sorrow that comes with that!
I grew up at a time where my interpretation of God, His son and salvation were that I would always be saved from any trouble as long as I was good and I prayed. That trouble would never see the light of day in my life, and that sorrow would be something I would not experience because I was saved. I believed being a Christian was somehow this cheat code to never having to experience any type of trouble, and so you can imagine my utter shock when life happened and I found trouble along my merry way and had to process the sorrow that often comes with it. Ironically though sorrow does not only come when we pray and trouble still finds us, it also comes when your prayers get answered and you get everything you want but quickly realise that is not be enough, and maybe the things of this world are never meant to be enough. I love the book of Ecclesiastes, which by King Solomon. It is written with so much wisdom and insight. King Solomon was one of the wisest and wealthiest man who ever lived, and as you read his words you will notice that although the pages drip with wisdomn , they is also an undercurrent of sorrow. Like the writer is processing his sorrows. He is processes having everything you would want and still realising that it was and would never be enough, and hence his sorrow is probably for time lost when all along every fulfilment and everything He needed could only come from God. Yes, we can experience sorrow in both lack and abundance!
So, what does the above mean for us especially when we find ourselves in situations where we cannot out pray sorrow? My personal belief is that sorrow is such a complex thing for most of us including me to grasp because there is no way you can avoid it. And I guess this is what makes a theology that places God in this genie type of role where He grants all our wishes and saves us from all sorrows so attractive. It greatly appeals to our human nature that craves control and certainty, and resists pain at all costs. Yet when we take this approach to our salvation, we miss out on so much more. God is so much more, more than what we could ever imagine but everything we need. This limited theology was my first introduction to Christianity and it was initially planted by well-meaning people, no malice was intended. In fact, this theology is partly right and very sound because it is very true that God is our saviour (Isaiah 45:21-22) and thankfully so, and I have testimony upon testimony of many instances in my life where He saved me, and I pray that He will continue to do so even in my future, but He is more than that.
God is more than a saviour and this is His most wonderful quality. Indeed, the fact that He can be whatever I need in the whatever season that I find myself in is not only humbling but also reassuring especially in the uncertain and the fallen world that we live in. Additionally, this quality of God to be all that I need speaks of His omnipotence (all-powerful), omniscience (all-knowing), and omnibenevolence (all-good or all-loving), immutability (unchanging), eternal, just, and merciful nature. That is why apart from being my Saviour, He is also my Father (Psalm 103:13; Matthew 6:9; Isaiah 64:8 ;1 John 3:1 ;2 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 1:5; Romans 8:15-17; Galatians 3:26; James 1:17;1 Corinthians 8:6);my Rock (Psalms 18: 2), my Refuge (Psalm 62:7-8); my Helper (Psalm 46:1, Isaiah 41:13); my Guide (Psalm 48:14 Psalm 25:8-10); my Defender (Romans 12:19; 2 Chronicles 20:15); my Deliverer (Psalm 34:19 ); my Protector (Psalm 46:1 , Isaiah 41:10 ,Deuteronomy 31:6 ,Psalm 121:7-8 ; Psalm 18:2 Proverbs 18:10; Psalm 3:3 ;Psalm 91:1-2; 2 Samuel 22:3; Isaiah 54:17; my Healer (Exodus 15:26; Psalm 147:3; Jeremiah 30:17; Isaiah 53:5: Psalm 103:3. He is also my Shephard, Creator (Elohim), Provider (Yahweh-Jireh), the Ever-present God (Immanuel) and the list goes on and on because God cannot be put in a box. In addition, and most importantly for this particular discussion, He is the God of my sorrow, He is my great comforter. With great conviction, I say this: in this life we will all experience sorrow, and in some instance, what seems like greater sorrow and you will need a God who can comfort and I am glad that we have the great Comforter, we have our Father in heaven ( 2 Corinthians 1:3- 4; Philippians 4:19 Psalm 147:3; Isaiah 66:13; Mathew 5: 4; Revelation 7:16-17; Psalm 34:18; Psalm 119:50 e.t.c.).
So, I ask the question: what do you do when you experience sorrow in this world?
Well, our father in heaven is a God of our sorrows. For me this God of my sorrow sits with me and comforts me. I had never experienced or even properly heard about this side of Him. I first had to experience sorrow and it was here that He found me. I did not find or seek Him because I did not know that I could. Here in my sorrow, He found me at my lowest, in my disappointment, in my grief, and in my pain and He sat with me. God is the only God that I know of who gets in the down and dirty with us, look at the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were thrown into a fiery furnace because they refused to bow to the golden statue erected by King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon (Daniel 3). I mean who was in the fire with them (Daniel 3: 24-25)? Yes, our God is never far. Even in times of sorrow when we do not even know how to articulate ourselves or what we need, our God knows. He provides for us in our wins, but also in our sorrows. I love how in Isaiah 53: 4 we get to learn that God sent his son to earth (Jesus), a God, to be a man to be despised and rejected by men. A man of sorrows, and was acquainted with grief so He could be able to understand and relate with our sorrow. To walk a mile in our shoes. It is worth noting that to be acquainted with something is not to be slightly touched or to see from a distance or maybe to even hear of sorrow from a far, it means to be immersed in, to be familiar with the experience of sorrow. Hence what better person to offer comfort that He who understands it (Isaiah 53: 4). That is how much God cares about our sorrows.
I feel like the role of God as a comforter is not emphasised as much as it should. Why? I do not know, maybe sorrow is seen as a loss, or as punishment or as a sign that God’s favour is no longer in our life or a sign of desertion or rejection. For others it may be that God and sorrow cannot be put in the same sentence. The reasons are often many, varied, but extremely misguided because as the good book provides we will all experience sorrow at one point or the other. We are not promised a life free of sorrow instead we are promised that we will never have to go through it alone, that God will give us comfort in our sorrows.
I do not like sorrow, if I had a choice, I would out run it for the rest of my life, yet I can admit that some of the greatest lessons I have learnt about God, myself and life in general were in moments I experienced the greatest sorrows. Sorrow that was debilitating and gut wrenching. Sorrow has a way of changing us, of exposing our vulnerability, but if we allow it, it can also be a great teacher. It is in sorrow that I am reminded of the lack of control that I actually have over this life (which is true) and points me to a loving Father who holds the world in His hands (Psalm 66:9). A Father who knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7) and records the tears I have cried in a jar (Psalm 56:8). It is in sorrow that I have truly gotten to know God, to know that He too can comfort and that He can be strong for me (make me strong) when I am weakest (2 Corinthians 12:10). Additionally, in sorrow we get to learn a lot about ourself, and have clarity on what we believe. We get to investigate, confirm or rewrite what we stand for, and to decide who we really are. There are things we can only know about God in our sorrow and never outside it. Further, God can make everything even my sorrow work out for my good and the best part is that He can restore everything that I lose or have lost (Joel 2:25, Psalm 23:3, Jeremiah 30:17, Psalm 51:12, Isaiah 61:7, Job 42:10. Deuteronomy 30:3, Jeremiah 33:6, Isaiah 57:18, 2 Corinthians 5:17)
This is not to say that you should never pray for a miracle, we should always pray, however, we should always pray for the will of God and to trust that if things do not go as we had hoped or meticulously planned, and we experience great sorrow as a result that if we are in God’s hands, we are in good hands!
There have been seasons in my life of great abundance where I have experienced joy and peace, but there have also been seasons of great sorrow where I have also experienced joy and peace, and in all the two seasons the common denominator was God. When I tell you that God is a God of sorrow, it is something that I have lived through. He has helped me get up when I could not be bothered, too heart broken, too disappointed, but He carried me through. Of course, it did not take the pain away, I was just covered in His love and allowed to heal while protected in His capable hands. Yes, the hands of my maker. He covered me in ways that words cannot describe or fully articulate. That is what God has done for me!
So, I ask one last time, what do you do when you experience sorrow?
Key verses
Mathew 5: 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Psalm 34:18: The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 147:3: He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18: For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Isaiah 66:13: As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.
Isaiah 61:1: The Spirit of the Lord is upon me… to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives….
Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.
Psalms 119: 50- 52 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. The arrogant mock me unmercifully, but I do not turn from your law. remember, Lord, your ancient laws, and I find comfort in them.
Isaiah 25:8 he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth.
Isaiah 54: 4 He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
Psalm 34:18 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. .
Isaiah 40:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into laughter and their sadness into joy; I will comfort them.
Isaiah 43:1-2 But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Revelation 21:1-4 They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Psalms 56:8-9 Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll— are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me.
2 Corinthians 1: 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
Revelation 7:16-17 Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them, ‘nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’ ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Romans 8:28: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Psalm 9:9 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.
Mathew: 11: 28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
1 Corinthians 15:52-54 God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away
Isaiah 51:12 “I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass,
Psalm 94:19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Isaiah 49:13 Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
Psalm 119:50 — “this is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me.”
Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
2 Corinthians 7:6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus,
John 14:16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Psalm 56:8-11 Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll— are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?
Pic: by Joshua Earle on Unplush- https://unsplash.com/photos/grayscale-photography-of-person-on-beach-yi6dvuynEuo