Shirley
Correct me if I am wrong, but I am very confident that each of us has some script of how we imagine not just how our life should go, but when and how the different seasons of our lives should look like. These internal scripts that often direct our life are usually based on what society says and sometimes what we have seen and other times the way we decide that our lives should go. To add salt to the wound sometimes the church teaches this version of God who is some type of gynie who goes around giving all his children everything their heart desires according to their internal scripts, as long as they give the right amount of sacrifice or ask in the “right” way, never mind His will. The perpetuation of this misconstrued gospel that being a Christian is supposed to wipe out any struggles, problems or discomfort. However, if you live in this life long enough you will eventually realise that life rarely goes the way that we want, and even if we get the things, we want within the exact season we scripted in our heads, it does not often look like how we imagined it would look. And there smack in the middle is often disappointment or even dissatisfaction in one form or another.
Interestingly enough, as Christians it almost feels wrong or even “unspiri” to admit that we are disappointed, struggling or even dissatisfied with an area in our life whether work related or personal. To admit that to some is like saying “I am not a Christian”. It is especially hard if you believed and prayed about it, even fasted and spoke the word over it, but in the end, it did not go according to your script. It can also be very confusing when you prayed for something, and the answer was a yes, and even after you got what you prayed for it did not go according to your script. Often as Christians we never really know how to deal with disappointment or dissatisfaction, and so often what we do is suck it up and bury it deep down in the shadows where no one can see especially our fellow Christians and carry-on singing Hallelujah. Never realising that this lack of acknowledgment of disappointment or dissatisfaction if not addressed is perfect breeding ground for our enemy. And if left hidden an unacknowledged can only fester in the dark and grow into everything from resentment, loss of faith, disillusionment with our salvation, bitterness and eventually lead us to distance ourselves from our loving father.
So today I urge you today to be honest with yourself and God. Search yourself and your heart, what is really going on in the inside there in the darkness where no one can see.
What are you feeling that “you are not supposed to be feeling” as a Christian man or woman?
What dissatisfaction with your life are you refusing to acknowledge or recognise because you feel it is “unchristian like” to acknowledge?
What do you feel you are not getting from God?
Are you saved, but secretly unsatisfied about an area or certain areas in your life because maybe you are hiding it from God because you believe it is too awful or sinful to take to Him?
Is it possible that there is an area in your life which you feel restless and believe that God cannot satisfy?
Are you secretly unsatisfied, but on the outside, you are you walking around like Christian of the year?
What do you secretly or silently believe that God cannot do for you or has failed to do for you?
What area have you refused to give God access to in your life?
Are you okay with God, or have you mastered the art of pretending that you are but you are silently seething or silently unhappy?
Deep down what do you believe that God will never do for you, or do you feel you cannot take to God because you believe that He cannot restore or heal?
Do you feel forgotten, do you feel like He could have saved you loved one?
Do you feel like others are more blessed than you, are you silently resentful and unhappy with Him?
Are you saved but secretly haunted by that one prayer that does not seem to be answered?
Are you saved but very disappointed with your life?
Are you saved but mad at God because you feel forgotten either in your professional or personal life?
Are you saved and have everything you could ever want, but still feel empty and dissatisfied?
Are you saved but have no faith because you buried your loved one despite praying for a miracle?
Are you saved but struggling (with anger, gluttony, vengeance, hate, pornography, tribalism, racism, eating disorder, jealousy alcoholism, laziness, unforgiveness, anger, lust, gossiping, unkindness, same sex attraction, debt, depression, self-loathing, failure, bitterness, brokenness, violence, selfishness etc)?
What do you feel that you are not getting from God or what do you feel that God has denied you?
When is the last time you investigated your heart or are you just going with the motions, what is the state of your heart?
Whatever you are feeling now as you reflect on the state of your heart, let me assure you that you can take it to our heavenly father. He can handle it. God wants our hearts in whatever state. He can handle it. The good book is filled with people who went to God open and raw with their feelings of disappointment or dissatisfaction. Our father in heaven is not only sympathetic to our feelings, but is also our hiding place and solution. Sometimes just being truly honest with God about where you are in life is the beginning of healing.
Psalm 62:8
“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge.”
Habbakuk 1:2
“O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and thou wilt not hear?”
Psalm 13:1-2
“How long, O Lord? Wilt thou forget me for ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all the day?”
Psalm 10:1
“Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”
Psalm 13:1-6
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”
Psalm 6:3-6
“My soul also is sorely troubled. But thou, O Lord—how long? I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.”
Psalm 10:1
“Why dost thou stand afar off, O Lord? Why dost thou hide thyself in times of trouble?”
Psalm 35:17
“How long, O Lord, wilt thou look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my life from the lions!”
Psalm 89:46
“How long, O Lord? Wilt thou hide thyself for ever? How long will thy wrath burn like fire?”
Psalm 79:5
“How long, O Lord? Wilt thou be angry for ever? Will thy jealous wrath burn like fire?”
Lamentations 5:20
“Why dost thou forget us for ever, why dost thou so long forsake us?”
Psalm 22:1
“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Why art thou so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?”
Psalm 42:9-10
“I say to God, my rock: “Why hast thou forgotten me? Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” As with a deadly wound in my body, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me continually, “Where is your God?”
Jeremiah 12: 1
“Lord, if I argue with you, you are always right. But I want to ask you about some things that don’t seem right. Why are wicked people successful? Why do people you cannot trust have such easy lives?
Ecclesiastes 3:1-22
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ……
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Jeremiah 12:1
You are always righteous, Lord, when I bring a case before you. Yet I would speak with you about your justice: Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all the faithless live at ease?